Author: Geraint

including letters written to his wife Marion and some other correspondence

On 22 April Bill wrote the following letter to Marion

Wednesday

Dearest Marion,

I write in haste: In saw the above advert in the Persona Column of today’s Daily Telegraph and I thought the job might interest you. I would have written before – not about the job – but the week after you went was awful!

I am quite sure my friendship with Cliff will not survive the Celia business. He is quite altered. I try to understand him, but can’t. And I don’t think I can stand up to all this emotional turmoil, particularly in my present state of health. And I haven’t been clever enough to conceal from Celia whose side I’m on. Cliff is more divided than you imagine. I still think there might be an end of it all – and soon.

Oh, Marion. I wish you were here and I could talk to you. But you aren’t and I have to try and write a letter full of disguised thoughts and feelings. Perhaps you will understand. But I’ll hope to see you soon.

My love, my dear

Always yours,

Bill

Letter to Marion

22 April, 1942

Wednesday evening

Dearest Mog,

Many thanks for both your letters. I was glad to get them.

I am having a horrid week at the Rescue School, trying to fill my head with all sorts of knowledge that I trust, won’t be of any use to me when the war is over. But all the people there are very charming and help me a lot. I get all the knots muddled up. I never realized I was so clumsy with my hands. I am working hard at it, however, as there is an exam at the end of it and I must pass.

I will arrive on Saturday morning, getting the train about 1, think it is, haven’t had time to find out about it yet.

I painted a little panel of the drawing I did when you were here. Rather lovely – also another wash drawing of the same subject – better than the first and slightly different in arrangement. I don’t know what it means. It’s just a mood. I am glad you are doing some work.

Have you heard from Dorothy yet? Anyway, I will tell you whatever else I know when I see you.It must be beautiful in the country now.

Looking forward to seeing you both.

Love,

Clifford

Journal Entry

April 30, 1942

Finished, or perhaps I should say, left off working on, the painting of Emie reflected in her dressing table mirror. Not bad. She is in her setting.

A fine Pascin in the window at the Leicester Gallery. Pascin’s women are sensual playthings, beautifully realized. I want mine to be enigmas.

‘Emie in the Mirror’ by Clifford Hall.

Letters to Marion

6 May, 1942

Wednesday

My dearest Mog,

Thank you for your letter. You must not ask me to forgive – it is I who should ask it of you.

We have both said things we didn’t entirely mean, but I think we are big enough to forget them.

I want to tell you that nothing has altered the feelings I always had for you who have given me so much. Although I am selfish and too self-centred, I do realize what you have always done for me.

The affair with Celia is finished. I will never leave her for you, or anyone else.

I am not sure how you will feel about this after all the unhappiness I have given you. I want us to try and make things between us as happy as they were before.

I am not going to promise the impossible – you know me by now, and I know that you would not wish to make me into something different from what I am. But I do feel that nothing like the happenings of the last few months will ever occur again to make you miserable.

Will you try to come and see me very soon? If I can raise the fare I will, but I am broke, as usual. Come, if you have to borrow the money.

You must stay here a week soon, a real week, and we must find some way of you and Julian coming back to London.

I think it would be a great mistake to give up the studio. It must be possible to find a couple of rooms nearby and not too expensive for us to manage the two rents.

I am looking forward to seeing you – I really am.

Love to you and Julian,

Clifford

8 May, 1942

Friday

Dearest Mog,

I got your last letter. You must not worry about the cheque – in any case I am sure I am going to make some money soon.

I am going to the Arts Theatre this morning to see about a scene painting job. You remember I told you about it. I wasn’t too late after all – they still had not been able to find anyone. Not much in it but it may be worth doing. Let me know which day you can come to town next week. Will you, by return post, post the studio keys to me, and register them.

The Borough Council are going to start on Tuesday replacing all the glass in the studio and I must have the keys to leave at Mrs Hart’s for them to get in when I am not here.

I expect you have got my last letter by now – you may be thinking I am not worth worrying about any more, but I hope you will come back as soon as we can possibly arrange it and that you will be happy. I want to do so much for you both. Tell Julian I have got some chocolate for him and that he will see me again.

Afternoon:

I have got this job and I am starting on Sunday – four days to do it in – the play starts on the 19th.

Love to you and Julian.

Write to me soon,

Clifford

PS Enclosed, 10 shillings for your fare. I got an allowance.

11 May, 1942

Chelsea, Monday

Dearest Mog,

Your letter came this morning – and the keys.

I understand how you feel but I meant all I said. I shan’t have a moment until this play is started. Can you come on Wednesday of next week and try to stay overnight, and I will hope to get tickets for the Arts Theatre, as that will be the first night of the play.

It’s much easier to talk than write and I am looking forward to seeing you next week.

Lots of love to you both,

Clifford

13 May, 1942

Dearest Mog,

Thanks so much for your letter and the cheque. If you come tomorrow you won’t get this in time.

But if not, I will look forward to seeing you on Wednesday. Let me know if you are coming.

I am going to have an awful job to get that set done in time. There is a great deal to get over.I had a long day there yesterday and did two good drawings in the evening as well.

I know I am not answering your letter properly but I will when I see you. I understand how you feel.

Love,

Clifford

Love to Julian

16 May, 1942

Dearest Mog,

I went back yesterday afternoon to see if you were at the studio but I suppose you have decided to come on Wednesday instead, so I am looking forward to seeing you then.

I have been working very hard and I am tired – not finished yet. I will try to get the tickets for Wednesday night. I believe it is a good play.

Love to you and Julian,

Clifford

Journal Entry

May 19, 1942

This evening, at the depot, I was suddenly set upon by five or six men. Three sprang on my back, and after a struggle I was thrown down, tied hand and foot and an attempt made to cut off my beard. Thanks to a brave friend’s help and my efforts this attempt did not entirely succeed although the blackguards have made a pretty nasty mess of me, including a severe black eye, bruises on the head, nose, jaw, and several very painful kicks in the ribs. These sportsmen apparently justify themselves by saying that I have said unpatriotic things. I am, I hear, accused of saying that I would welcome the Germans if they landed! I who would be one of the first to suffer*.

*One of the first to suffer, not only as an artist but because both his wife Marion and Celia were Jewish. JH

The attack was cleverly planned by a sexless creature on the wrong side of forty, a sort of ancient Peter Pan with a decidedly vicious streak and, God bless her, an Englishwoman and proud of it. Cleverly planned and treacherously, when all my friends but the one who did help me were out of the way.

The place is now divided, and I am happy that there are as many, perhaps more, for me as against. And many who although they may disagree with some of my views, yet deplore methods as low as those we are said to be fighting.

If these rats had honestly felt I was defeatist they should have gone to the police. I wish they had, for I have said nothing that has not been printed in the newspapers or openly said in Parliament.

Certainly I have been tactless, foolishly tactless, not to realize the low intelligence of a few of the people with whom I come in contact. It is cheering to know that they are only very few.

Letters to Marion

23 May, 1942

Dearest Mog,

I am so glad you are coming back on Monday and I will be able to come in for an hour, about 9 in the evening as I will only be over the road.

You are very wonderful and I do love you,

Clifford

Note left for Marion

25 May, 1942 (Marion is evidently staying with Clifford in Chelsea. Monday, 25 May was the Spring Bank Holiday) Editor

Dearest Mog,

I forgot all about the shops not being open today. There is only bread and not much cheese. So you must have lunch at Nic’s or Bar B.Q.

Will be in about 9 this evening.

Love,

Clifford

Journal Entry

June 1, 1942

A thousand bombers raid a German town. A glorious first of June as one newspaper described it. We have changed our tune and we will hit our enemies unmercifully. Well, it has this to recommend it. It’s honest, not like the way we were talking a year or so back.

We boast now of destroying German homes and talk of the necessity of bringing the war home to the German people.

We made an awful fuss when they attacked the civilian population here. What is the civilian population anyway? This is total war, isn’t it? Nearly everyone is doing some sort of work connected with the war.

The Peace will indeed be a peace that passeth all understanding.

In June 1942, Clifford commenced writing his Rowley Smart memoir and made no more entries in his journal until late December of that year.

Marion moved back to London in May 1942 to work with Lucia Moholy as a camera operator for the ASLIB Microfilm Service, based at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London, leaving Julian in the care of Pearl and Peter Thompson at East Meon. She remained with ASLIB until the service had been completely wound up in March 1946.

Initially, Marion and Clifford evidently tried living together at his studio in Manresa Road, but it was not long before they started living apart when Marion moved to an address close by in Bramerton Street, Chelsea. Editor

Pocket Diary

In the absence of any journal entries at all from Clifford after June 1 1942 until the end of December 1942 we must resort to his pocket diary for clues as to what was going on in his life during this six-month period.